Hiding My Tics

My very first tic, at least that I can remember, was a simple sniff. I was in 4^th grade and would sniff all the time. I can only imagine how irritating this was to those around me. I remember one specific incident when an adult snapped at me, “Why don’t you just blow your nose?” As if it was that simple. This adult didn’t know any better and neither did I. This interaction did teach me a valuable lesson; certain behaviors are linked to social norms. If you are sniffing you must have to blow your nose.

It was from this I found an ally in cold and allergy season. My sniffing didn’t stand out as much, I was normal. Cold and allergy season would pass and my tic would stand out again. It was about a year after I started sniffing that new tics started surfacing. These tics were facial tics and a head jerking tic. The facial tics were easy enough to hide but the head jerking was not. What is a young kid looking to fit in to do? What I did was grew my hair out. With longer hair my head jerking tic looked like I was attempting to get the hair out of my eyes.

The longer hair worked for a while but the head jerking got so bad concerns about injury lead to a haircut. Cut the hair and there goes the need to jerk my head. While that isn’t how Tourette Syndrome works. Now I was a short haired, head jerking, and sniffing spectacle. At this point I hadn’t been diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. I was just a boy who picked up habits easily.

It was shortly after the haircut that I went to see a neurologist and was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. The diagnosis helped because at least I knew what was going on, as much as an 11 year can. I grew my hair back out to help hide the head jerking or at least to give it an explanation. Cold and allergy season were still my favorite times of the year. This went on for a few years before I really started to focus on other people’s behaviors.

There wasn’t a sudden shift in my behavior but over time I started to notice a lot of people stretching or cracking their neck. If normal people stretch or crack their neck then I would mimic them and stretch or crack my neck. Whenever I would feel the need to jerk my head I would stretch my neck instead. By replacing a tic with another more socially acceptable movement I slowly modified my tics and learned to control them (to a certain extant). I have recently learned this is called Comprehensive Behavioral Intervention for Tics (CBIT). I still haven’t learned much about CBIT but it sounds like what I was doing naturally as a survival skill. This new skill helped me modify my tics to more normal movements that I saw others doing.

A second strategy I picked up was another of observation. I watched people to see when they weren’t watching me. Anytime they weren’t looking at me I would tic. Timing was the only issue with this strategy as some tics took longer than others. Every once in a while someone would look back mid tic. After years of people watching I have learned how and when to tic to hide my tics.

This is one thing I would like people to know about my Tourette’s.

Five Things...

Five things I would like people to know about my Tourette's:

      1. I have spent years learning how to hide my tics.

      2. My tics are always with me.

      3. Ticcing takes a lot out of me.

      4. Tourette's is more than my tics.

      5. Having Tourette's has been a blessing for me.

Sharing My Experience

Recently I had the opportunity to share my experience growing up with Tourette's with three educators. This was the first time I openly shared my story with people since starting Ticcing Away the Miles. Sure I have written blog posts, shared pictures on Instagram, and commented on posts but I never went out to talk with the sole purpose to educate individuals on Tourette's.

I was so nervous, then anxious, then excited, and then the cycle would repeat. I kept checking my watch and the directions, I didn't want to be late. I was meeting the educators during one of the teacher's prep time. Being an educator myself I know how precious this planning/prep time is. The fact that the teacher was willing to spend her prep learning about Tourette's speaks volumes to the type of teacher she is.

It was great sharing my story, knowledge, and what I wished my teachers knew about Tourette's with the three educators. They were so appreciative of all that I shared. I know I made an impact on their level of awareness and understanding for Tuorette's, which in turn, will have a positive impact on students in that school. I had a few great teachers, have worked side by side with some great teachers, and now I can say I have shared by story with some great teachers. Hopefully I can share it with more teachers very soon.

Not much has changed...and that is good.

After reading all my past posts, really wasn't all that time consuming, not much has changed. There have been some minor changes over the past 2 years but the main purpose of raising awareness has stayed constant. What has happened/changed is I have become more focused. This focus is great because it will allow me to bring about more awareness.

So while not much has changed that is actually a good thing. I am sticking to my original purpose. Follow along cause I am still ticcing away the miles.

Has Anything Changed?

I write this 30,000 plus feet in the sky as I travel back home with my oldest son, the main reason I started this blog. I am wanting to rewrite why I am doing this almost 2 years after I started Ticcing Away the Miles. There are two main reasons for this rewrite one is to see how close I can match what I wrote 2 years ago (without rereading it prior to writing this). The second is to see if I need to refocus or realign what it is I am doing.

Helping write the rough draft on the plane.

Recently I have been listening to, reading, and watching a lot from Frank Kitchen and AJ Adams. They promote positive, intentional, and big contributions to whatever it is you are doing. This is my first attempt to ensure my words, actions, and contributions are positive, intentional, and big.

I have Tourette's, a neurological tic disorder, and the chances of my 2 boys having Tourette's is pretty good. I want them to grow up in a world that is better educated about Tourette's and know if they put their mind to something they can accomplish great things.

That pretty much sums up what I am doing and why I am doing it. Ticcing Away the Miles is about educating people about Tourette's and being a living proof that with the right attitude and work ethic anyone can accomplish amazing things.

I will reread my first couple of posts to see if anything has changed over the years and report back.

Helping write and edit this post.